John Stupart.com

In case nobody’s noticed my site has been completely revamped and, dare I say, restored to 100% functionality. Much thanks to my stalwart sibling for fixing it all, installing the theme, and patiently letting me pick the perfect wallpaper. Also, the blogroll has been updated with blogs that are actually updated, including Charlie Dunhoff, an ALT who lives in Sarufutsu’s neighbouring town of Hamatonbetsu, where Chris and I normally embarked upon numerous shenanigans. He’s a prolific writer and includes lots of photos, so it’s definitely well worth a looksee.

Also, the archives now work! Hurrah!

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Something else which is obvious to everyone but me, but losing a friend sucks! A very good friend of mine recently left for the sunny scandinavian polar regions and for a few days I’ve wondered what this empty, icky feeling was. At first I thought it might have been the spaghetti I made for dinner, but then I realised that I was actually sad. Genuinely, egte waarde sad.

Who woulda thunk it. John has feelings…

Most times I’m unleashed into a public environment I find that what I think and what I say are often completely different, and not intentionally so! If I want to be offensive, I damned well can do that consciously without needing to trip over myself. So I find myself in the tragically ridiculous positions of feeling remorse for the offensive things I say which aren’t deliberate, but unable to express the difference between those and the offensive things I say which I do mean. This, because it’s important that people know when I’m being genuinely offensive and when I’m just talking kak.

Regardless, my theme for the month has been all about figuring out how to express myself more accurately. This isn’t a new thing by any means of historical breakthrough, and philosophers have been ruminating on the problem for centuries. Put simply, language as we know it is incredibly restrictive. The more one’s vocabulary improves the more one realises its confinements. As much as I want to express an idea or emotional reaction to something in verbal or written form, it’ll always be restricted by the syntax of English and of my own language ability. It’s annoying, and there should damned well be a better way by now!

But enough about my vocal frustrations! Back in the normal world I’m still waiting on my MA application to come back (last time I checked it’d been upgraded to “RECEIVED” status), while I’m increasingly warming to the idea of full time study, my potential research interests have narrowed to two: Conflict Resolution in Central African Crises (probably use Congo as a case study) or Piracy in the Gulf of Aden. Both are incredibly interesting to me and are rich Strategic Studies picking grounds. While international institutions focus on Chinese Information Warfare, the ability (or lack thereof) of the Israelis to bomb Iran and other such topics, I can shneak into the pages of academic fame by the backdoor, as it were.

I think all of the above could also be greatly inspired by my current book: Heart of Darkness. It’s proving pretty damned good so far, but so far Hemingway still takes the top spot.

For my international friends, some pictures of Wits, my intended academic home for 2009:

The Wits Lawns

Senate House - My department would be on the 2nd floor to the right

Also, my favourite song of the month – Woman King by Iron and Wine:

A girl carrying her sibling on her back cries as she looks for her parents in the village of Kiwanja. Civilians have been on the march in eastern Congo, uprooted by fighting between the country’s army and rebels. November 6, 2008 (Associated Press / Jerome Delay)

I normally reserve my more earnest posting for commentary, but this picture today resonated on a whole other level, which affected both intellectually and emotionally. Put in one simple sentence: This kind of sorry shit must end. And it must end with the utmost priority.

There are precious few people in this world with whom I share my life’s goals and objectives, primarily because I’m not quite ready for them to bear public scrutiny. Put simply however, I aim to eventually be in a position where I can directly influence the prevention of this kind of misery.

It’s important, because I used to see these pictures and think “aw shucks”, but I’m now firmly in recognition of the simple fact that children like the one above will never have even close to the privilege which I enjoyed, and that their lives will almost certainly be stricken with misery and hardship. I used to think that this was the problem of the UN, or of people who are considered our leaders, but then I developed a healthy conservatism, which above all else taught me that it is precisely these people and organisations who are incapable of effecting any real and lasting change.

I aim to change their lives.

I have a strong desire to help these people whom I’ll never know but shall exist in abject poverty, conflict and violence if I don’t try and help them. I will endeavour to do this because I cannot in good conscience settle for a life of utility simply because I had the advantage of being raised in a loving, peacful society where I was afforded great education and amazing encouragement from friends and family at every turn. I cannot then simply trade that all in for simple wealth or happiness.

I will try until my dying breath to make that people like this girl and her sibling become the exception in Africa rather than the norm.

Also, I hope to develop cold fusion. But I like to stay realistic 😉