Ramsbury: Destroyer of Worlds

When I was in Hokkaido, I stopped by a “Hyakuen” (100 Yen) Store on one of our runs into Sapporo. Heather loves these places, so I naturally obliged. We didn’t get to see the big city too often, so we spent of a lot of the time in Sapporo driving around and shopping for necessities which the far northern tundra didn’t provide. For me, that was Ramsbury: Destroyer of Worlds.

I found Ramsbury when browsing the 500 Yen section of the store. Yes. I did stop briefly to question the irony of having a 500 Yen category in a 100Yen shop. Nonetheless, on a shelf at the front by the stairs was an array of pillow-animals. I believe the alternatives to Ramsbury were something like a lion, a scallop shell and a bear, or something to that effect. I settled on Ramsbury for two reasons: Firstly, he had dangly legs and horns which the others didn’t (they were just pillows), and more importantly, he had the malevolent spirit of our world’s ending hidden deep within his soul…

… From that Autumn afternoon onwards I realised that I had voluntary taken ownership of a beast borne of pure and utter destruction. I remain convinced that, when Ramsbury awakes from his unholy slumber, he will open his hellish maw and unleash upon us all the song that ends all our worlds as we know it. Thus, I think my 500 Yen might well have purchased my own salvation. To the rest of you. Sorry! This would also explain why I brought the damned thing back from Japan, given how grossly overweight I was anyway!

The signs of its malevolence are all there. The cute, unassuming posture. The happy/sleepy demeanour. It’s all one big ruse which shall lull us into a false sense of security. Not for me though. I hear its dark whisperings in my sleep, as Ramsbury slowing fills my head with promises of glory and power. It has become dear to me. It is… precious to me…

The Ram in question. Don't be fooled by his passive complexion.

The Ram in question. Don't be fooled by his passive complexion.

Music: Linkin Park – New Divide

Written by admin in: Things Japanese |


  • Amy


    Comment | August 7, 2009
  • You are a strange, strange man 😛 And I am quite certain that you are just trying to poison us against him- look at that face!!! ^_^

    Comment | August 7, 2009

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