The Politics of Boredom – Or the Boredom of Politics
Sitting at the office with no classes to attend to, I am sometimes left with virtually nothing to do for an entire workday. Normally I’m not one to complain for an abundance of idleness, but too much idleness can get excruciatingly, mind-sappingly boring! Nonetheless, I found myself reading up on some local Japanese political shenanigans, and realised that it, much like office days, is just as horrendously grey and boring.
I suppose it’s a good thing when the largest debate being held in parliamentary chambers is whether to raise or lower the petrol price, or whether to send the refuelling ship (note the singular) back to the Persian Gulf to provide free fuel for the coalition fleet, but it kinda takes all the fun out of politics. I think that if I had studied in Japan instead of SA, I would not have chosen Political Science, much less Strategic Studies, as a major. There’s none of the controversy over big issues, like rape trials, chiefs of police being arrested or rolling blackouts. To be certain there’s all the fuss made. Last week’s fracas over the upper and lower house of the Diet caused uproar in local media circles, but much like my elementary students, it’s a lot of tears over nothing in particular!
Being a student of politics makes one dull and uninteresting almost by default, and it takes a lot of noise and beer to be anything otherwise, but I must wonder what on earth kind of human being would willingly subject themselves to such a god-awfully boring career. There must be a hell of a lot of money being made by these politicians, or else they truly do relish sitting in endless debates about redundant policies. When ten people got food poisoning after eating some Chinese-imported dumplings, an emergency session was called, TV stations went into overdrive and the nation shook and trembled at this national crisis. Meanwhile, back in reality, I sat in front of my TV munching aforementioned dumplings (not the Chinese ones, according to what little lettering on the package I could read) shaking my head. I wonder how a Japanese MP would handle being dumped into Pretoria, forced to fend of corruption, rape and fraud allegations while simultaneously figuring out how on earth to lower the highest murder rate in the world. Black and white, methinks.
At last week’s graduation ceremony, for example, the village mayor was given his traditional seat of honour (next to the town policeman, deputy-mayor and town-elder), and proceeded to nod off while the principal gave his traditionally HUGE speech. Then it was the Mayor’s turn. A man of almost emaciated frame, the mayor shuffled up to the podium and delivered an even longer-winded speech to the hundred or so students and parents (mostly tearful mothers, watching their cherubs graduate from what is essentially primary school), and shuffled back down. His head constantly shakes (I think he suffers from Parkinson’s or some such) unless he tilts it at an angle, making for a rather odd, yet entirely dull experience. Imagine then a Japanese government full of pensioners eagerly awaiting their turn to out-do each other at the speech-Olympics, delivering round after round of over-dramatic drivel about poisonous dumplings and the complete lack of Chinese oversight into the matter (well, duh).
And then it was my turn, at the post-graduation party, to deliver a speech, to which I tried for the first time to do in Japanese. I said something roughly along the lines of this being the first ceremony of the kind I had ever seen, that it was great, and that the teachers can be proud of their efforts. Arigatou Gozaimasu, and a quick Kampai (cheers!), and I had left my audience stunned at my amazing ability! Well, they were more amazed that I could even say anything in Japanese, given my complete ignorance 8 months ago, but it was a good feeling, and I think I notched up a few more levels of respect after that!
So boring politics aside, not much is happening at the moment. The schools are winding down after the 3rd graders went on holiday and I plan to go to Sapporo this weekend to get some new glasses, replace my awesome cap which was stolen by some no-good louts on a train in Thailand, and buy some liquorice. In that order, I think.
