Relatively Challenging
So three weeks back in the darkest depths of Africa (well, not really) and things are starting to smooth out. Employment has been found for the 4 months between now and University, a seriously nice new place has been found for myself and sibling, and it’s great to be able to have informed conversations about things ranging from wrestling the brown bear to the political economy of Ghana during WW2. In English nogal. Hell, I can say “nogal” and have people understand me!
Of course I still miss Hokkaido terribly, and I can’t help but think about what I was doing this time last year. But then, I also remember how wonderfully new and fascinating Sarufutsu was in August 2007, and I realise that if I were there now, I’d simply be doing exactly the same things I’d been doing since. It’s not bad in any way. Far from it, it was great! But the challenge would have no longer existed, and that’s something I’ve started to almost get used to. The challenge…
When I moved from UKZN to Wits in January 2006 I was utterly terrified about the new challenges life would face away from home, outside my comfort zone. Of course, at the end of 2006 I didn’t want to leave. Then, in 2007, I was petrified that perhaps I should have accepted that nice career path with the DFA and forego Japan. I was also petrified of going to Japan in the first place! Now, I can’t believe what a nervous wreck I was. And now, I start a completely different job in preperation for a degree I have sought since early 2005, without most of the friends who helped me through previously difficult times. The common thread? At each point in my life when these transitions occurred, I considered insurmountable challenges. Well, not anymore. Now I see them for what they are; a chance to further myself. To improve my character and my intelligence in ways that I previously considered mundane or simply not for me. Even working part time now in a small job has taught me, in the past week I’ve been there, aspects of myself that I didn’t realise were there.
Much like going to Japan or Johannesburg, I’m beginning to understand that it’s not so much what you do, or where you do it, but how you approach it that makes the difference. Upon return to SA I was bombarded with the different-yet-familiar scenery of Johannesburg, where 24 hours before I’d been standing on my balcony in Onishibetsu, sipping a Sapporo Draft and thinking about my decisions which had led me to that point. I thought that perhaps I should have stayed, should have saved a little bit more money, worked the same job even though the magic was fast fading away. I realise now that leaving when I did allowed me to appreciate my experience fully, while still being able to appreciate the new challenges pushed forth by moving. If I’d saved more money, I would have lost out in other ways. Perhaps I would have not gone to South East Asia with my brother and friends and thus missed out on the best holiday ever, perhaps by teaching English another year I would have felt my brain melt to the complete mush I thought it would. Who knows? I may well just be trying to justify my departure.
Regardless of the reasons and the circumstances, I now have learned not to fear these challenges in shifting my life so much as I have learned to approach them with the open-mindedness necessary to exploit them for all it’s worth. I feel like I have a very specific goal towards which I can strive (some of you know what I’m talking about 😉 ), and every deviation I take away from that is unacceptable. If I’m not improving myself in a conceivable way, I’m not interested.
So I have learned. I have learned a lot. And I am starting to realise that, as I tell my dear friend Shireen, wherever you need to be, there you are. It doesn’t matter if you’re flipping burgers or sailing the Caribbean. As long as you’re challenging yourself in a noticeable way, embrace it! When things are no longer challenging, then perhaps, just maybe, you need to move on. But if you’re always questioning, never accepting, relax!
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This site might encounter various improvements in the coming weeks. Foremost on my to do list is to prune the blogroll. Sadly most of those links on the right there are completely stale and haven’t been updated in months. I have some great blogs of friends and people around the world who need to go there. Stay tuned!
